New Policy: Treat Employees As Well As You Would A Friend

Last New Policy proposal and this one is for both customers and Derp-Mart. Until our robot overlords conquer all mankind, retail employees are going to be human and because we're human, we deserve respect and consideration. For customers, this is easy to accomplish. A few please and thank yous, plus just general kindness and courteous will be more than enough. As for Derp-Mart, you massage the balls of our customers, why not us workers? You'd think that you'd at least do that, since you clearly aren't paying us anything decent. See, the problem is your philosophy. You're all about the customer, neglecting us workers. You justify it to yourself by claiming that without the customer, you're out of business, which is true. But you forget that without us workers to sell stuff to them, you're out of business as well. Push people far enough, and they might get crazy ideas, like they should unionize or something. And we all know you don't want that.