Derp-Mart Needs to Supply Free Weed to Deal With This $#@!

"I need help." a Hispanic woman said to me.
Indubitably.
"How can I help you, miss?"
"I connect my blu-ray player to my TV but it doesn't work."
"Do you connect via HDMI?" I asked.
"Yes and it doesn't work."
"Ok, so the problem can be either the TV, the HDMI cable or the player. Do you have any other devices you can connect via HDMI?"
"No."
"Without testing the cable, the TV and the player on other devices, I can't really tell you where the problem is happening."
"So you don't know anything?"
There is no middle finger big enough, you stupid *&^%
"Does your player with work another cable?" I asked.
"No. Player doesn't work. Cable box works."
"Your cable box works."
"Yes. I connect through HDMI and it works."
So much for not having another HDMI device.
"In that case, there's something wrong with your Blu-Ray player."
"Blu-ray? I don't have that."
"What? then what are we trying to connect with your HDMI cable?"
"My DVD player."
ಠ_ಠ
"Does your DVD payer have HDMI output. Can you plug the cable into the DVD player."
"No."
"So, there's no picture when you connect with the cable because your DVD player doesn't have HDMI output."
"Yes. How do I connect with HDMI?"
Pass the Cyanide, please. You'll be doing me a favor.