Derp-Mart GED

In the Derp-Mart breakroom, there's a company ad saying that they'll reimburse all employees GED costs (up to $300). What bullet points did they write to entice workers to obtain their degree? These ones, though they left off some crucial bits of information I added back in (within the parenthesis, so you don't get confused.

• Income rises as level of education rises (though not here).
• Many jobs require a High School diploma or a GED (but not us).
• GED opens doors to opportunity (though not here.)
• GED graduates gain confidence and self-esteem (but you won't because you work here)
• Educated parents raise educated kids (but you're not educated, you struggled to get a GED for Heavens sake!)