We're Never Going To Get That Pizza Party

I'm not sure how other companies do this but Derp-Mart actually has incentives to remain accident free (and not suing the company or going on workmen's comp). If we go a certain number of days accident free, we get stuff. I don't remember all the prizes, I just know that the good ones are a pizza party at 15 days and then a bar-b-que at 30. Sounds easy enough, right? Well, those accident free days aren't just for employees, they're for customers too and, after reading everything I've wrote, you can tell that Haley's comet probably comes around more often than we get these parties. I wouldn't be the least bit surprised to find out that we've had to saw some dude's arm off after he got it stuck in the crane game machine.