"Excuse me, young man, can you help me find a home phone?" An elderly Asian woman asked me.
"Sure. They're right behind you." I said, pointing over her shoulder.
"Oh, thanks. My eyes must be going bad if I couldn't see that. Which phone do you think would look good in my kitchen?" Lady, I don't know your kitchen! How can I answer that? "Oh wow, these phones are so expensive. I saw them cheaper at Derp-Club. Maybe I should go there? Do you know which of these have good battery life? My last phone's battery died real fast." Am I contractually obligated to listen to her? "Do these have call waiting? I don't need call waiting. I already have a machine that does that. It's fine if it does, I just won't use it. How big are the dials on the phone? My old eyes aren't as good as they used to be."
Holy $#@! Listening to her is like taking a triple dose of Ambien.
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