Taxi Troubles

Since this happened while I was at a Derp-Mart, I do believe it deserves to be put here. I got stranded at one after work, with no bus lines between the store and my home, even with transfers. So nothing else to do but call a taxi. There's plenty of them around, I see them all the time. So, I give them a call and I get their dispatcher.

"Hi, I'd like to request a taxi." I said. "I'm at the Derp-Mart at the corner of Herp and Burp."

"Got it, a taxi will be there in about 20 minutes."

So, I sat outside and waited. 40 minutes passed, not a single taxi showed up. I called them back.

"Yeah, is the taxi still on its way? I haven't seen it yet."

"According to our records you cancelled."

"That's news to me."

"We'll send you another ride. It'll be another 20 minutes."

30 minutes pass and a taxi finally shows up. A guy steps out and closes the door behind him. Prick. I try and open the door but it's locked. The driver rolls down the window on the passenger's side and asks if I need some help.

"Yeah, I called for a taxi about an hour ago. Aren't you here to pick me up?" I asked.

"No, I'm doing a round trip with the guy that just got out."

"And you can't just drop me off at my place real quick? It'll take less than ten minutes to drive there."

"His meter is still running. Sorry." The driver apologized.

I waited another 10 minutes before calling back the dispatcher.

"I still haven't seen my ride yet." I complained.

"I see. The driver could be trying to contact you. Are you certain your phone has reception?"

"How the %$#@ do you think I'm calling you?" 

"Well, the taxi is still in transit. I'm sure it'll be there any minute now."

20 "any minute"s later, still nothing. Is this cab coming from China or something? 

"I'm still stranded here." I called them back up again. "Do they know where I'm at."

"Yeah, the Derp-Mart. Our drivers go there all the time."

That explains it all. The people picking me up, are the customers I've been making fun of all this time!