It's Not Everyday A Customer Asks You Do Help Them Break the Law

"Ok, I bought a laptop from you guys about 3 months ago and my word and powerpoint ran out. It says I need to buy it."
"A product number, we've got those." I lead her over to the software section.
"Oh wow, $120? That sure is expensive. Can you tell me where I can find it for free on the internet?"
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